no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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