You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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