I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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