If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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