I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
