11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
