I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
