I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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