i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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