Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She told me I should be a condom model.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
