We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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