He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
