I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
