some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
