i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
