K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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