the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
