I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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