You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Two words: blizzard sex
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
