Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
