I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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