I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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