I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
