talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
