She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
