fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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