Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
