people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's never too late to be topless.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
