On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
