who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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