i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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