We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize