the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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