Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
false alarm, still single
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