Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
