I accidentally had phone sex last night
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
