She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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