The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
