it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
