I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
