That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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