I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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