walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
