I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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