i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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