i barfeds in our rink
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
