Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
