she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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