I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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