There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
