He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize