wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
