Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize