So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just pee around me
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
