you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
