Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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