Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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