your parents love me but you hate me
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
