Everything about him screamed your future.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
