I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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