that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
