But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
