I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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