fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
