no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
