but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
