Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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