so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
