I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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